Pod the Alien Sketch : ‘Christmas – advertising opportunity’

Standard entrance (Compere responds to banging on the door) That must be Pod. (Spaceman enters)

Hello BCC!
Hello, Pod. Where have you been? We haven’t seen you since this time last year.
Yes, you are right young sir. Indeed it has been a full year. A light-year in fact. I’m afraid that I can’t go any faster… Now hold young-un. I’m not sure I approve of BCC resorting to child labour. How much are you being paid to do this?
Nothing as far as I know. Why, do people normally get paid to talk to you?
You know I’ve never thought to ask before. You’re a sharp one you are. You should take it up with your agent. Talking of which, I’ve found someone else who needs to sort out his agent.
Whose that Pod?
Why Father Christmas of course. Haven’t you seen the way he’s being ms-represented on the TV?
I’m not sure what you mean
Don’t you watch TV?… Over the past month I’ve been picking up televisual transmissions from earth with the help of my new set-top-box. And I have been astounded at what the advertisers can get away with. It seems like they are using the Santa to sell everything. But the actors they use to represent him all look completely different. He needs to get a tighter grip on his branding if you ask me.
I can’t see it’s anything to get up tight about, Pod. I mean, there’s nothing too it: Old guy, beard, red suit, lots of presents. What’s there to get wrong?
Well you need to take a look at this one. I can’t make head nor tail of it!…
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(run Debenhams Sexy Santa clip)
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Well that’s not right is it?
Like I said, old guy, beard, red suit, lots of presents. It’s all there.
No, no. I think that the advertisers have missed a trick. I mean, you (of all people) should know that the whole reason that there’s a Christmas in the first place is because of baby Jesus.
That’s right, He’s God’s greatest gift to us. And the birth of Jesus was one of the most important moments in history.
Exactly… and a tremendous adverting opportunity.
Why do I feel concerned now?
I can’t believe that I’m the first one to spot the potential!
I’m not sure you want to go there, Pod.
Now I’ve got some great ideas for new adverts, that are much more in tune with the Christmas story. I’ve made some rough versions and I’d like your opinion. Now, watch out for some subtle product placement. Roll VT!
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(run Nativity advert clips)
—–
Well, what do you think?
I’ve got to be honest Pod … they suck big time.
Oh! Do you think I need to get Santa in there too?
No! No Pod. Now don’t get me wrong. I love presents and I really enjoy all the food and family stuff at Christmas. But you can’t go messing with the Christmas story.
But I thought that it bought the Christmas story and the rest of Christmas together rather well.
But the story of Jesus is a true story and one that people need to hear, because in Jesus they can find life. You don’t want to confuse anyone by messing with it. It’s too important.
You mean my idea is worse that messing with Santa’s image.
I think you’ve just got the two things muddled. A present is just for Christmas, but Jesus is for life. Jesus himself said ‘I am the way the truth and the life’ . So in fact, Jesus himself  is life. Anyone wanting to find God needs Jesus, not a Sat-Nav!
I’ve made something of a mistake haven’t I?
Yes, I’m afraid you have. We may even get some complaints…
I’m sorry. I guess I’ve got a lot to learn still.
Don’t worry, Pod. Being able to learn is a good thing.
Yes. And I’ve learnt something important on this visit, that although Christmas is full of family and friends and presents and fun, Jesus’ life brought you life. Which is why Christmas worth celebrating. So party-on! Well, no time to stand here chatting. I must be off. I need to trade in my set-top-box for a Sat-Nav. Merry Christmas everyone.

Merry Christmas, Pod. Good-bye.

Standard exit (Spaceship takes off on DVD overlay to accompanying sound effects through PA)

© M Day 11-Dec-2006