Pod the Alien Sketch : ‘Singing’

Standard introduction and entrance (Compere talking is interrupted by spaceship landing sound effects, “I think I can hear a spaceship landing, lets switch to the school’s outside security camera”. Overlay external photo of school with spaceship slide, landing. OHP off. “Look here he is, the Spaceman visiting from another galaxy”. Spaceman enters waving.)

Hello Spaceman, how are you today?
Oh, I’m feeling puzzled.
And what is it that’s puzzling you?
Well, On my journey here I was monitoring your radio stations, and most of the transmissions were made up of short bursts of rhythmic sounds with someone talking tunefully at the same time.
Oh I’m not sure what that could be: What kind of things were being talked about?
Well that was the most puzzling thing, you see some seemed to be talking about girls, some were about boys, but most seemed to make no sense whatsoever.
(to congregation) Can any of you children think what Spaceman’s talking about?
(Answer … “songs/singing”)
Yes, yes that would be it. Oh, how wonderful (excitedly), you know about this!
Oh yes, we know all about singing here.
So you can tell me then: Why do people sing?
(pause, pull pained faces, struggling) Well, I suppose that it because music enables us to express our feelings and emotions in away that words alone can’t do as well.
You mean that these people on the radio aren’t paid to do it?
Well yes, people singing on the radio get paid, but we don’t do it for that.
(Gasp) You mean you do singing here!
Why yes, all the time.
(pointing around the congregation:) Which one of you does the singing?
Oh no, we all sing together.
(Gasp) … At the same time!? Why would you all want to sing at the same time? I mean surely there’s no-one left to listen if you’re all singing.
Well, we all sing together, so that we can all share the same feelings and emotions. So that we know that other people around us feel the same way that we do, and together we can tell God how we really feel about Him.
(Gasp) You mean that you sing songs to God?
Yes, you see there is someone left who is listening.
So you don’t sing any songs about boys and girls?
No, God is the only one that we want to sing to.
Wow; you sure do think a lot of God.
Of course, after all he did make the whole world you know.
Hey, (abruptly) I know that. Are you being funny or something? I mean, I’m not stupid you know.
No, no I’m sorry, I didn’t mean …
No, I know that God made the whole universe. I just don’t often meet people that think so much of Him.
Well, we were going to sing right now, would you like to join us.
Oh, that would be just wonderful, but I’ve been here to long already. My spaceship is ready to leave. I’ve learnt something new on this visit: You sing to God together so that you can tell Him how you all really feel about Him (Nodding). I must go now. Good-bye, see you again.

Standard exit (leaves waving. Spaceship takes off on OHP overlay to accompanying sound effects through PA.)

© M Day 25-Aug-1997