Pod the Alien Sketch : ‘What makes God angry?’

Standard introduction and entrance (Compere, talking, is interrupted by spaceship landing sound effects, I think I can hear a spaceship coming, lets look outside. Overlay external photo of school with spaceship slide, landing. OHP off. Look here he is, it’s our friend Pod the Spaceman, arriving from another world. Spaceman enters)

Hello Pod, I haven’t seen you for a while, where have you been?
Oh just browsing though the universe, you know… learning stuff. In fact that’s why I’ve come here today.
…To learn stuff?
That’s right, ’cause you folks have always been good at answering my questions about God and Jesus … and stuff.
OK, so what’s your question?
Well, when I’ve come before, I’ve learnt about what makes God happy. But I’ve been wondering: Does God ever get angry?
Yes, He does get angry sometimes, but always remember, one of the lovely things about God is that He’s very patient. It says in the Bible that He is ‘slow to anger and quick to bless’ And He blesses us by loving us and giving us good things, even when we don’t deserve them.
…But He does get angry sometimes?
Yes he does.
Yeah! I get angry too, when people laugh at my spaceship. (looks around accusingly) … or because, I’m short … and red.  Does it wind up God if people laugh at Him?
Actually, He is very patient with people who don’t like Him, what God really can’t  stand is  people being half-hearted or hypocritical.
Woah, woah, don’t start with those long dinosaur words, it’s like the lights go dim in my head when you do that! What is a hippie-kitty-cat?
Oh, I am sorry. What I mean is people who do things that don’t match up with what they say.  That’s what I mean by hypocritical.
Oh: But why would that make God angry?
You’ve got to remember that God knows what everyone’s thinking.  Saying one thing, and then doing something that doesn’t match, is just like telling a lie in front of God (pause – Pod looks blank). I know shall we play a little game to show you what I mean?
Oooh yes. I love games.
OK. Well I expect that you’ve noticed my hat.
Yes. It is a very fine hat. I should like to own a hat like that myself. – Have we started?
Yes.  (to the Congregation) Ladies and Gentlemen. I should like to tell you about my friend Pod. He is the finest Alien in the Universe. He has been a wonderful friend to me….
All right!
When I am sad, he cheers me up. When I have problems, he helps me out. And he has given me many wonderful presents…
Don’t stop, don’t stop, keep going. I like this!
I love him so much, that there’s nothing that I wouldn’t give him … (spelling it out) I would give anything to my friend Pod….
(Pause) Could I wear your hat, please?
(sharply) NO! (to the congregation) As I was saying, I owe so much to Pod, and I would do anything that he asked me …
I’d be careful with it. It’s not a lot to ask.
No , it’s mine. Get your own. Looser.
Hey! (getting angry) You didn’t mean all that nice stuff about me at all. You were lying!
(back to normal) There. You didn’t like me saying one thing and doing something different, did you. Well neither does God.
Oh, oh: Was that all part of the game? I don’t think I want to play that one again.  I can see why hippie cats make God angry now. So what is the difference between a Hippie-crit and being half hearted?
Not as much difference as you might think: (pause for effect) Actually that’s part of the reason that we sing to Jesus. Partly because it pleases Him to hear how much we love Him, but partly to remind ourselves of how great and wonderful He is, and to remind us to be whole-hearted in our love for Him.
Ah, I see now:  Do you know, what I’ve learnt today? I’ve learnt that God wants you to love Him with all your heart, and then to show it by what you say, and what you do.
And don’t forget that Jesus is very patient: slow to anger and quick to bless. (putting cap on Pod’s head) Good-bye Pod. We’ll see you when you think of something else to ask.
OK, Good-bye, good-bye.

Standard exit (leaves. Spaceship takes off on OHP overlay to accompanying sound effects through PA.)

© M Day 01-Dec-1998