‘How is it you know Amanda?’

My name’s Phil and I live next door.
What do I do? I’m a jobbing plumber.
I’m the man for your frozen pipes
Or when your drain blocks in the summer.
Take my card. You never know.
Remind me of your name again.

My name’s Gary. Yes, I live around here.
What do I do? I’m a Fingerprint Expert.
It’s a strange job, why, just this week
I’m dusting buttocks for the prints of a pervert.
No, the man is still at large.
Remind me of your name again.

So tell me how is it you know Amanda?
Doesn’t she have such a lovely place here?
We somehow thought that the place would be grander,
But so convenient. The school is so near

My name’s Anne. No, I live in Leeds.
What do I do? I’m a tax inspector.
I check accounts for anomalies.
Often firms in the private sector
Pay their cleaners from petty cash.
Remind me of your name again.

My name’s Gary. No, I live in Town.
What do I do? I’m Stunt-Double Actor.
It’s a strange job, why, just this week
I’m Keanu Reeves getting hit by a tractor.
No, he’s shorter than you’d think.
Remind me of your name again.

Chorus

My name’s Lynn and I live nearby.
What do I do? I work in a bank.
But I’m on sick leave since the stressful day
When a robber walked in and fired a blank.
It was just a starting gun.
Remind me of your name again.

My name’s Gary. No, I live in Auz.
What do I do? I’m a Crocodile Wrangler.
It’s a strange job, why, just last month
One caught in shark-net – I had to untangle her.
No, I try to bite them first.
Remind me of your name again.

Thank you. You’re kind to invite us, Amanda.
Haven’t you got such a lovely place here?
Comp’ny is pleasant, discussions meander.
Thanks for the nibbles, the wine and the beer.

Composer: Martin Day/Rich Milner

Lyricist: Martin Day

© M Day 20-Dec-2012