‘Super Stimu-memorite’

Doctors Schmitt and Draper way back in ninety three
Wrote a scientific paper on brain chemistry.
They treated some old timers who suffered mem’ry lapse
Reversing their Alzheimer’s. Or should we say, perhaps?

The triumph was that, chiefly, they gained perfect recall.
In tests, if only briefly, they’d recollect it all.
The problem came when sleeping at end of every day.
The slumber caused a sweeping of all they’d learnt away.

They call it Stimu-memorite.
They make it in a lab.
It gives you mem’ry super-bright.
You only need one tab.
It hijacks regions of the mind
To store new memories
Of the photographic kind,
But sleep, and storage frees.

The project it was canned – Objective not achieved.
But students found the paper and the magic recipe.
They saw the drug’s potential as a new revision aid.
It soon became essential for them to get their grade.

They’d wash it down with caffeine on the eve of an exam.
Then every second in between they’d read and they would cram.
Although they knew it cheating, exams were passed with ease.
Their knowledge then deleting, they’d lose their expertise.

Chorus

Tutors didn’t mind ’cause their teaching looked effective.
Unis turned a blind, league tables their objective.
Seeing the grades rise Government claimed the success:
“We have turned the tide of the education mess”.

City firms may want degrees, but like you bending rules.
The Pharmacists receive their fees in silence. They’re no fools.
Now unopposed the practice grew, no one to intervene.
Standards may have dropped, it’s true, but no effects are seen.

Chorus

(For mem’ry by the terabyte use ‘Super Stimu-memorite’.
Don’t be dim, you could be bright. Use ‘Super Stimu-memorite’.
For mem’ry by the terabyte use ‘Super Stimu-memorite’.
Don’t be dim. Be more bright. Use ‘Super Stimu-memorite’.)

Composer: Rich Milner

Lyricist: Martin Day
© M Day 30 Jun 2014